Marjorie Writes…

Everyday Musings of an Extraordinary Woman

When counting sheep doesn’t work

I really hate not being able to sleep. This seems to have become a regular issue for me. In fact, I’m routinely staying up really late until I feel like I’m going to just pass out over my laptop or in front of the tv just so when I go to bed, I will fall right asleep. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.

Now, I can’t stand just lying in bed for hours, not being able to sleep. Half the time, at that point, I’m so tired it’s almost impossible for me to think about getting out of bed and doing anything. I’ve also learned not to pick up a book and read in bed, because when I do that I invariably get into the book and the next thing I know it’s dawn or close to it and I’ve been up reading all night.

Last night was one of those nights. After lying in bed for about an hour and a half, waiting for the blissful feeling of sleep overtaking me, I couldn’t just lie there. So I got up, hoping to be productive. I went over to my desk and to the desktop computer I rarely use anymore, but which houses my iTunes library. One of the cds I’ve been listening to in the car a lot is badly scratched and I’ve been meaning to burn a new copy (I have the whole thing on that computer since I’d put it onto my iPod years ago. Anyhow, after searching around my office, I discovered that my ex-husband had obviously helped himself to the big package of blank cds I had in there. Damn, and I’d been forgetting to burn that new copy for weeks now, guess it would have to wait another day or two.

Next, I decided to look through my filing cabinet to see if I happened to have a newspaper clipping from college in which I appeared on the front with an old friend. Of course, it wasn’t there (as I’d thought), because I hadn’t bothered to save any clips from when I was making the news, I only saved my by-lines. However, it was interesting to go back through those clips and remember some of the stories and what I was doing in my life at that time. That killed a little more time.

Oh, and I found a broken, ceramic envelope I used to store bills and such in, once upon a time. Evidently at some point it had fallen off the side of the desk, between the desk and the wall, and apparently stayed there for who knows how long – I can’t even remember the last time I actually used it, but I do remember painting it. Ironically, I used to do crafty things like that all the time before I had kids. I always thought I would do it as a mom, with my kids, and at some point hope to get back to it. I think I gave up those pursuits when my children were little – I used to always hand make Chanukah cards to send out to friends and family. I want to say I used to send out 60-70 cards every year. The last time I made them was when my kids were little (as I just said) and I traced their little fingers, one hand on either side of the front of the card, to make menorahs. That was when I gave that stuff up – it was just too hard to do with them, and they were too little to really do it themselves.  My kids are old enough now that I should start doing those things again – I always got a lot of pleasure from it.

I’ve always been a night owl, well, at least since my kids were young but sleeping through the night – as a mom, it’s really the only time I get for me. I’ve spent countless nights up way too late of my own accord – chatting with friends online, chatting with friends on the phone, watching movies, reading, knitting, taking care of the books for the business I used to own, you name it, I’ve done it late at night. And I’ve always enjoyed it. If I was really tired the next day, it was ok, it was my fault. Besides, back then when I slept, I slept well so even if it wasn’t enough, the sleep was always restful. I’ve always been lucky that once I go to bed, even if I decide to go to bed early, I could fall asleep quickly. I still don’t lie in bed plagued by unwanted thoughts and worries (not routinely, of course that happens once in a blue moon). However, lying in bed trying to sleep but failing drives me crazy!

Does anyone have any tips for overcoming insomnia? I don’t like taking any kind of medicine to help me sleep. I don’t watch tv in my bedroom when I’m going to bed, keep my laptop in the other room so I won’t be tempted to sit up and go back online, etc. I’m trying to keep my bedroom a room for sleeping, as they say to do. So far not helping.

Well, I think it’s about that time – time to go to bed and hope sleep comes easily tonight. I really have to beat this insomnia thing soon – school is starting next week, so I won’t be able to ever sleep past 7am after that. Not that I sleep too late now, but don’t have to get up that early and if I’m groggy, it’s ok because don’t have anything pressing I have to do most mornings too early. So off I go to hopefully sleep – I’ve been tired all day since I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and had to get up and go this morning, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that will all help tonight.

Live, laugh love – it makes it all worthwhile!

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